A Vulnerable Holiday Greeting!
I’ve seen so many holiday greetings this year and I honestly started to feel intimidated. I wondered if i could send a holiday greeting that would mean as much to you as the others I’ve read.
I often wonder things like this. Will I do it as well as s/he did? Will I be as attractive, as eloquent, as clear, as powerful, as inspiring…?
And then I think that if I’m not, it may be time for me to give up, or not even pursue something in the first place!
Then I noticed a weight in my chest and a tiredness in my shoulders. And I remembered how many women I’ve heard talk about this fear.
And, with a deep sigh, I felt sad about how much it keeps us from the love and connections we want most. So I decided to be vulnerable, to risk looking weird, neurotic, or even un-evolved (my favorite!) & share this with you.
You might not like, trust or respect me more after reading this. But you might feel closer to me, trust me more, or feel less alone than you did before reading this.
I have no idea what your response will be. And that’s kind of how it goes in the world. You never really know how someone will respond. And getting closer to another person often happens only after you risk sharing something vulnerable about yourself.
So, my wish for you this upcoming year is that you know fully, deep in your bones, that who you are, the unique way you are in the world, your truth, your sensitivities, fears, desires, quirks and everything else about you…that you know that none of these take away from how amazing you are.
Because when you know this, then you don’t have to hide anything, any of you. And when you don’t try to hide parts of you, you are free! You are free to create rich and beautiful connections, even when you feel awkward, shy, uncomfortable, less eloquent or powerful than you want to feel.
And rather than walking around, secretly wondering whether there is something wrong with you, you really relax into knowing that there is absolutely nothing wrong with you, and that what you are feeling, thinking and wanting in this moment is okay, simply because it’s happening!
So, I hope you breathe this in, right now, and from here on out you continue to remind yourself of this. And I hope that when you find yourself forgetting, you turn to someone near you and ask to be reminded! (I’m not kidding! You’ll meet some great people doing this!)
I wish you so much love, health, peace and abundance this year. And most of all, the knowing that you are enough, right now, and in every moment, just as you are!
With love, gratitude & vulnerability,
Shana
Hi Shana,
oh, I love your heart and I thank you deeply for giving it to us unveiled and vulnerably. I do feel closer to you and trust you more from reading that, and honestly, it’s refreshing to be given the truth from someone at the helm of an organization, rather than a polished image. It reflects your commitment to authenticity.
I love you,
Rosy
Shana and Alexis,
I am grateful to all that you bring to the world. I really hope that 2010 brings prosperity, love and deeper community for us all.
Thanks for sharing yourselves….you are loved!
Happy Holidays,
Joui
Thank you Rosy! It’s scary sometimes to share vulnerably, especially not knowing who is reading what I write.
AND I am committed to sharing what it’s really like to be human, to want, need, fear, love, hurt. I feel more fulfilled when I love and live in a way that is not polished.
And thank you Joui. I feel your love and support!
Thank you for being women in my life who continually inspire me!
Love,
Shana
Thanks for sharing!
Thank you so much for deciding to send this Shana, it is exactly what I needed to hear today. :)
I am so glad Yolanda! I wonder what else you’re needing today and how you can have it!
Thank you for sharing this, Shana! I feel inspired to be fully me and to love myself fully, today and throughout my life.
Much love,
Natalie
Shana,
Bravo to you for sharing these thoughts today! I needed so badly to hear these words! I have a huge “global networking” alumni event to go to tonight that could be a big boon for my career (I’m looking for a job), and I don’t feel like having to be “on,” to schmooze and be smooth and eloquent. I feel vulnerable today (thoughts of “am I smart enough, experienced enough, I’d rather stay on the sofa and watch a movie” etc.), and your message was a reminder that it’s okay to feel this way and to be present with it. Thank you for the reminder that we all experience these insecurities and that we must dare to be our authentic selves in spite of these feelings. I appreciate you providing a forum where we can safely discuss these commonalities. Thank you, Shana!
Oh Shana, I adore you. I’m sending you tons of hugs and kisses. Thank you for teaching me how to share vulnerably. You’ve enriched my life beyond words.
Love, Shelly
Thank you Deborah, Elizabeth and Shelly. I love reading your responses.
I am so excited to have more conversations about these topics in 2010.
Here is another response from another beautiful woman who couldn’t get the link to work:
Hi Shana,
I wanted to say (with a deep breath of relaxation moving through me) … thank you for your email. I felt my whole body relax and I felt a tenderness and compassion for myself as I read your words. It is so nice to be reminded that we have permission and it’s totally okay (and in fact, a way of opening up connection) to just be our authentic selves in honest vulnerability.
So THANK YOU for being vulnerable with me and the others who received your email.
Very touched smilies/smiley.gif
Abbie Anderson
I have not been online much lately but was happy to see your email just now, Shana. You rock, Girl. To be able to show up when you are in all types of moods is what has so impressed me about you. Thank you for continuing to teach me! Miss you and hope to see you when I come back to visit in Jan or Feb!
Ellen
Shana-I don’t know how you knew, but this was exactly what I needed to read today. I’ve been struggling with trusting/being ok with my feelings, and this email reminded that I can be ok with the struggle and still want to trust. Thank you for that! I wouldn’t be on this journey if it weren’t for you and Alexis, and I’m so thankful for that every day. And I’m so looking forward to coming back to SF in January! Lots of love, Jenni
This email brought tears to my eyes and peace to my heart…Thank you Shana for being so truthful and vulnerable. You keep reminding me that it’s okay to be me, to be quirky, and imperfect. That I’m lovable because of these things not in spite of them…
I Love You So Much and I am always feeling closer to you every time I read something of yours or I see you and talk to you!
Can’t wait to see you on January 11th…
Bless You and Your New Year,
Anya
Thank-you for sharing your vulnerability Shana. Reading through the responses and seeing the openhearted sharing brought tears to my eyes. Love you!
Sabrina
I am so grateful for your responses amazing women! I hope this gives you an example of how much love can come your way when you share your vulnerable heart. I feel like I’m soaking in a warm bubble bath of appreciation and acknowledgment. It wasn’t my intention to receive comments about me, I thought they would be more about the topic – questions, comments, wanting me to expand on certain pieces…And the truth is it feels great to receive love and support from all of you!
Here’s to all of us being deeply loved and supported in 2010!
Love
Shana
Shana,
This so hits home with what I am focusing on at the start of this year. Thank you for putting the words together the way you did — they fit my intentions completely and express so well what I want to feel, think and be. Thank you for being so open — it gives me a lot of courage to know that I am not the only one who feels this way. Thank you also for posting it in this space.
Have a wonderful start to the new year!
thank you shana for your email. great to stay connected to AWE from out here in boston.
yes, when i uncover those hiding parts i am more alive, open and available for connection.
love and hugs,
Tiffany
I feel really moved by your holiday letter. I really, really like to look like I’ve got it all together. This is probably because I feel really ashamed of how idiosyncratic my methods for getting things done are. I’m smart- when I was a kid, I was in the gifted range- and yet some simple things in my daily life are really hard for me. So, I feeeeel stupid sometimes.
I found out I had ADD about 10 years ago. I don’t like labeling myself. I don’t like taking medication of any kind. I’ve made a lot of behavioral and nutrition changes that have helped take the edge off. Now, I’m at the point in my life when I’m thinking about taking medication for it. I’d just like things to be easier. I went to a family therapy session with my family over Christmas. I said out loud some of the ways that ADD affects my everyday life. I felt so ashamed. But I was proud of myself for noticing how I felt and sharing anyway.
I sort of can’t imagine letting people completely see the real me, like you suggest. Actually, I think, in my case, its good that I’ve learned how to be socially acceptable because my range of behavior may be a little too outside of normal. If I let myself, I would constantly interrupt people, hug and kiss most people, move around a LOT more than is considered acceptable for adults. don’t act this way at all and I’m sure my groups of acquaintances don’t know that I would- although I do come across as fairly bubbly. BUT I have found a place where I can be myself and everything that is weird about me- what I mentioned and so much more- is not only accepted but praised- which is comedy improv- I preform comedy improv now and I am totally acceptable and just awesome there. smilies/smiley.gif
Maybe I can bring a little more of my real self into more of my life, but I do also value my skill at fitting in. It was hard won. This morning I was thinking about careers that would be a better fit for me, or ways I could use my current skills that would make life easier for me. It feels like cheating to think of things being easier! I think accepting that its ok to make money in a way that isn’t a strain is the next step in accepting myself more fully.
Thanks for your letter! It was timely for me.
April