Ah, the beginning of another new year. You probably have a list of resolutions, or at least hopes for 2010. You’ll do some spring-cleaning, finally organize your closet, eat healthier… and maybe, finally, you’ll meet the guy of your dreams.
is year, instead of just hoping you’ll meet him, let’s do something different: let’s assume you will.
Close your eyes and imagine that you know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that the perfect guy is waiting right around the corner.
I know what you’re thinking. “Okaaay… that’s great, but I don’t actually know I’m going to meet him. So what’s the point of getting my hopes up?” This exercise takes a little bit of creativity, so bear with me. When you live as if you know you will meet him, your life will change for the better.
A lot of times, the choices we make are based upon assumptions we have about the future. For instance, if you assume that you’re never going to be rich and successful, you’ll make choices that reflect that belief – you may only apply for entry-level jobs, and pass up better opportunities.
The same goes for relationships. If you assume you’ll never meet Mr. Right, you’ll make choices that actually keep you from meeting him. Your own assumptions about the future have a bigger impact on your life than you think.
If you assume you’ll never meet Mr. Right, you might stay with a current boyfriend whom you know isn’t right for you, because if you break up with him, you “know” you’ll be alone for the rest of your life.
You might go on lots of crappy dates with guys you could care less about, because you don’t want to be lonely. You might stay at home with a big bowl of ice cream on Saturday night because, well, what’s the point of going out if you won’t meet the perfect guy?
If you assume you won’t meet him, you probably won’t.
If, on the other hand, you assume you will find this wonderful man, your life will look very different. If you believe you will find him, your attitude and energy will shift; you will feel happier and more self-assured.
And men are drawn to that. As are other opportunities for friendship, wealth… you get the idea. Most importantly, when you believe you can and will have what you desire most, your life becomes a lot more fun! At this point, you’re no longer waiting, you’re simply living. Here are 3 steps to help you get the most out of this new year and start you on a path towards meeting your Mr. Right – while having fun along the way.
Step 1: Envision it. Close your eyes and believe that you will meet Mr. Right this year. What will your life look like, now that you know he’s out there? What choices will you make?
You can finally stop dating Mr. Good-Enough, knowing that Mr. Right is waiting around the corner – you no longer need to put up with a bad relationship, because now you don’t have to worry about being alone if you break it off.
And when a guy who isn’t your type asks you out, you know you don’t need to waste your time, so you confidently say “no thanks”. Instead of going on a bunch of bad dates, you start taking a yoga class every Friday evening.
Now that you don’t have to worry about finding the right guy, you have more time and energy to spend on other important relationships in your life; when you go out with friends, you’re fully present and your friendships deepen as a result.
Now that you know you’ll meet the perfect guy this year, you don’t need to worry about finding love – and you have more fun than ever. Envision as many details of this new life as possible.
Step 2: Compare. Now, think about the way you are living your life today. How does it compare with the picture you just painted? If you’re unlucky in love, examine the assumptions you’ve had and the choices you’ve been making.
If, deep down, you assume you’ll never find the perfect guy, you might find yourself in less-than-perfect relationships that actually keep you from finding him.
If you believe that true love isn’t possible, you may avoid intimacy altogether. Take some time to explore your current assumptions and beliefs around love, work, and any other area of your life that needs improvement.
Step 3: Live It. Go back to step 1 and assume that you will meet your man this year. Once you picture what your new life looks like, start living it!
Dating a guy who doesn’t make you happy? Kick him to the curb – Mr. Right is out there waiting for you, so make some room in your life for him. Spending Friday nights alone? Go out with your friends and catch up with them. Now that you’re not worried about meeting that special guy, you can pamper yourself – treat yourself to dinner, enroll in a new class that interests you, and start having some fun!
Enjoy yourself and celebrate your freedom – after all, as we both know – you won’t be single forever!