woman red dress rust buildingRecently I’ve been looking back on situations that didn’t go well. Whether it was dating, friendship, a job, or even picking a driving route, there’s something I’ve noticed.

It’s a “sense.”

Call it a gut feeling, an intuition, an actual physical sensation, a voice of doubt… it was a sense that something wouldn’t work out for the best. And while there was no rational reason for that sense, I really felt it to be true.

And then I ignored it.

I told myself I was overly sensitive or too suspicious. I told myself I should trust more and let go of my critical mind.

It all happens so quickly, on a mostly subconscious level, but when I’ve replayed the situations in my mind, in slow motion, that sense is undeniable.

Not listening to that sense, I now see, is me betraying myself. It is turning away from the part of me that is committed to my heart’s deepest truths.

So how did I stop betraying myself?

First I have to be aware of when it happens. Start to pay closer attention and notice when you…

  • Have a wiggly feeling in your gut, but continue with an action anyway
  • Tell yourself you shouldn’t feel sad, mad, afraid or excited, even though you are
  • Feel hurt but sweep it under the rug
  • Realize you need something but then pretend it’s not important to you
  • Don’t ask for help even though it would make your life easier

These are all ways of betraying yourself, of making your truth less important than cultural norms or someone else’s expectations.

Each of these will get in the way of you having a thriving relationship, a successful career, meaningful friendships and a life that energizes and inspires you.

Your relationship with yourself is the foundation for everything you want in your life. Remember, there is more to making decisions than your logical, rational, thinking mind. Tune in to your body, your heart, your sense of a situation. You’ll be amazed at how connections deepen, situations flow and life starts to have a magical quality.

We’d love to hear from you. Are you newly noticing ways you’ve been betraying yourself? Have you practiced enough to know how to stay aware and stop the betrayal before it happens?

Leave a question or comment on the blog. Even if your mind tries to convince you not to, remember that your shares make it safe for other women to do the same.

With love,


p.s. The fast track to tuning into yourself, that allows you to have incredible relationships and a wildly fulfilling life, is available to you! Join us at our East Coast AWE weekend. There are still a few spots left. Read more here….

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4 Responses to How to know if you’re betraying yourself…and how to stop

  1. The viewer’s Flash player sends a request to the server that specifies a start time, an HTTP request that
    inserts time parameter into the requesting URL’s “query string. These may seem like “songwriting elements,” given that they are. It will take several minutes to have that high concentration level back.

  2. etherial17 says:

    I greatly appreciate this post. It is exactly how I feel about an ongoing relationship I am in. I know that I should pay better attention to the fact that it doesn’t feel right, but I keep overriding that feeling. I want to thank you for breaking self betrayal down so well. It will help me to better love myself.

  3. Kelly says:

    Thank you for breaking this down! I had heard someone say I was betraying myself but had no concept of what this meant! Your examples were perfect and now made this concept super clear!

  4. L says:

    As a male, I’m feeling sad as I keep being in relationships with women that feel that way, and I notice it before they do and I try everything to avoid that painful true and rescue the titanic which doesn’t work.


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