One of the biggest challenges I hear from single women is that they don’t meet enough good men… or when they do, they don’t get asked out. Many women say they almost feel invisible to men… which can be really frustrating!
A pattern of not being seen or asked out by men can feel baffling or even hopeless… but only when it seems like you don’t have any power in the situation.
When we feel like we don’t have power in dating, we can have thoughts like “men NEVER ask me out” or “there are no good men out there anymore” or even “what’s wrong with me?”
However, when you can see some of the ways you contribute to the situation, you start to realize that you have the power to do something about it!
The first thing to get is that if men aren’t noticing you or asking you out, there are probably ways you’re making yourself invisible to them. This means there are ways you’re actually hiding your radiance or making it hard for them to approach you. Enough of that, girlfriend!
Luckily there are some easy ways to turn this around. Here are 3 keys to instantly go from invisible to approachable and have men stop in their tracks to talk to you:
1. Make eye contact. We live in a society where a lot of people avert their eyes and maintain private space, even when we’re right next to each other. However, any kind of close personal interaction always involves eye contact! They say the eyes are the doorway to the soul… so let men know you’re available to connect by making eye contact and letting them see you. And be sure to let it linger for an extra moment or two so he really gets the idea! I guarantee, even if he isn’t interested or even single, he’ll appreciate the connection.
2. Become an invitation. This means learning to be approachable! If you’re hunched over your computer in a café with your headphones on, its going to be pretty hard for a guy to come up and talk with you. So practice approachable body language: uncross your arms, sit or stand upright and relaxed, and smile! Just imagine what way of being and body posture would feel inviting to you and embody that. You can also dress the part: when you wear clothes that make you feel beautiful, you become an invitation for others to notice your beauty.
3. Get clear with your boundaries. One of the biggest reasons women make themselves invisible or unapproachable is that they don’t feel safe. That can mean many things from not feeling safe physically, to a fear of hurting a guy’s feelings if you reject him, to a fear that if you say “Hello” back to a guy that you’ll get trapped in a conversation you don’t want to have. The thing that handles these fears and makes us feel safe to engage with men are our boundaries. You can say “no” any darn time you want to!
Ultimately, the biggest obstacle isn’t HOW to get men to notice you… its BEING WILLING to be noticed!
So what are you going to do to stop being invisible and start being an invitation? Let us know in the comments… we’d love to hear from you!
With love & pleasure,