Author Archive

Have you ever had a string of really great luck, where the world seems to fall at your feet? Gorgeous men are suddenly everywhere, flirting with you and asking you if you’re free on Saturday night. The same week, you get a raise and compliments at work. You feel like you’re on top of the world, and the luck just keeps coming.

Or, you get the opposite:  everything falls apart and it all happens at once. You lose your job, your pet iguana dies, and the cute guy you’ve been seeing says he needs a break. I’ve been in this boat many times. I’m sure you have too.

Imagine you have a beautiful gift basket, full of money, wonderful food, and the promise of love. You have been told to choose one very special and deserving woman to give this gift to.

The first woman walks into the room, and you tell her you would like to give her this gift. She crosses her arms, raises an eyebrow, and says “Huh. Why? I haven’t done anything to deserve this. There must be something you’re not telling me.” Read the rest of this entry »

Have you ever wanted something but felt like you couldn’t ask for it?

Or have you asked for it, but then suddenly felt a man away or get awkward?

Recently, I was having a conversation with a woman about a first date she’d just gone on. She’d been talking to her date on the phone, planning where they’d meet. He asked her if it would be okay to meet at his place. He didn’t want to make the hour-long drive to pick her up after a long day at work.

She felt angry when she heard this: “He doesn’t want to do something inconvenient, but he’s okay with asking me to do it!” She quickly squelched her anger and agreed to meet him at his place. She didn’t want to be pushy, and after all, isn’t that what she should do to make the date to go well? Read the rest of this entry »

This month in the Living In Love program we’ve been exploring How to Have Sex That Meets Your Deepest Heart’s Desires.

As I explored what makes sex delicious, enjoyable, and satisfying for me, I realized how much of it is up to me, not my lover. It can be both humbling and exciting to admit that it’s my hand on the dial. Exciting, because I can turn the dial up; humbling because its my responsibility to make sex great, and if it isn’t, I know where to look.

There is what I say and do–or don’t say and don’t do–in the bedroom that can make sex either great or terrible. This is when I get to voice my boundaries, listen to my desires, and dance between giving and receiving. We talked about how to communicate during sex in our teleseminar last week. (If you missed it but would like to listen, just sign up for the Living In Love program for $1 and get instant access to all our past tele-seminars).

However, fantastic sex starts way before the bedroom. Read the rest of this entry »

Ahh… hurt and anger in relationship. They can show up anytime—from the very first date to the end of our lives. It’s nice to fantasize about a relationship without that—a dream lover who will understand your every need and desire, where there is no emotional upset at all.

But in the real world, it’s better to know how to deal with these strong emotions in a way that creates more connection and attraction, rather than destroys them.

We all know what doesn’t work when we’re hurt or angry. In fact, that’s when some of our worst “behavior” comes out!

Does any of this sound like you? Read the rest of this entry »