Ah, the beginning of another new year. You probably have a list of resolutions, or at least hopes for 2010. You’ll do some spring-cleaning, finally organize your closet, eat healthier… and maybe, finally, you’ll meet the guy of your dreams.

But this year, instead of just hoping you’ll meet him, let’s do something different: let’s assume you will.

Close your eyes and imagine that you know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that the perfect guy is waiting right around the corner.

I know what you’re thinking. “Okaaay… that’s great, but I don’t actually know I’m going to meet him. So what’s the point of getting my hopes up?” This exercise takes a little bit of creativity, so bear with me. When you live as if you know you will meet him, your life will change for the better. Read the rest of this entry »

I’ve seen so many holiday greetings this year and I honestly started to feel intimidated. I wondered if i could send a holiday greeting that would mean as much to you as the others I’ve read.

I often wonder things like this. Will I do it as well as s/he did? Will I be as attractive, as eloquent, as clear, as powerful, as inspiring…?

And then I think that if I’m not, it may be time for me to give up, or not even pursue something in the first place!

Then I noticed a weight in my chest and a tiredness in my shoulders. And I remembered how many women I’ve heard talk about this fear. Read the rest of this entry »

Have you ever woken up in the middle of the night and started worrying about a relationship or your job and then you can’t get back to sleep? I’ve had that happen a lot!

A while ago, I woke up and started thinking about my husband. At first, they were random, dreamy thoughts. Nothing too specific – just scenes of our time together floating through my mind.

Then, I thought to myself, “hmmm… he hasn’t said ‘I love you,’ in a while.” I thought some more about it. He’s told me I amaze him and that he’s grateful to be with me, but not ‘I love you.’ And, my mind went to that Bad Place:

Maybe it’s a big deal…I should tell him I love him, it goes both ways…I wonder whether he will fall out of love with me some day. Most relationships are destined for failure these days. I’d rather him tell me he doesn’t love me now than years from now. It would hurt a lot less. Read the rest of this entry »

Have you ever had a string of really great luck, where the world seems to fall at your feet? Gorgeous men are suddenly everywhere, flirting with you and asking you if you’re free on Saturday night. The same week, you get a raise and compliments at work. You feel like you’re on top of the world, and the luck just keeps coming.

Or, you get the opposite:  everything falls apart and it all happens at once. You lose your job, your pet iguana dies, and the cute guy you’ve been seeing says he needs a break. I’ve been in this boat many times. I’m sure you have too.

Imagine you have a beautiful gift basket, full of money, wonderful food, and the promise of love. You have been told to choose one very special and deserving woman to give this gift to.

The first woman walks into the room, and you tell her you would like to give her this gift. She crosses her arms, raises an eyebrow, and says “Huh. Why? I haven’t done anything to deserve this. There must be something you’re not telling me.” Read the rest of this entry »

The other day I turned a connection with my man that was about to go bad into a heart melting and healing experience.

You too can turn a connection that’s more shallow or disconnected than you want, whether with a new man or a man you’re in relationship with, into one that is deep, builds trust, and even sparks attraction and passion!

Here’s how it went for me:

San Francisco, California
10:00 pm after a long day of work

I had worked all day and was recuperating from leading a workshop. At 10:00 I’m laying on the couch feeling exhausted. Read the rest of this entry »

This is a great article written by a friend of mine, Jayson Gaddis, who teaches men how to be powerful and achieve their highest purpose. I am inspired by his work, his commitment and his authenticity!

I love this article because it’s honest. It explains what men often go through. And because it asks men to call their  fantasies into question and look deeper. We need to do this as women as well.

He suggests that men… Read the rest of this entry »

Walking into a café, bar or party, my mind often buzzes with questions about myself. Am I dressed okay? Am I as radiant as the other women here? Will men pay attention to me? At this point, I don’t take these thoughts too seriously.  A few years ago they sometimes paralyzed me. I felt nervous and anxious.

But guess what? The men I coached today told me the same thing happens for them! It is such a privilege to be let into hundreds of men’s insecurities and vulnerabilities. And so you know, I haven’t yet met a man who doesn’t have them. It’s so easy to think you’re the only one who is nervous, but it’s not true. Read the rest of this entry »

I was sitting with a dear friend as she rocked her 1 1/2 year-old boy to sleep, breastfeeding him. She had moved into a new home six weeks earlier and single handedly unpacked it. She finished her Masters Degree two weeks before the move. She had given birth to her son while in school, took care of him while finishing her degree and…you may not believe this…was running her own business with her husband.

Talk about Super Woman! This woman can do anything she puts her mind to. Nothing stops her. She is incredible.

Reading her list of accomplishments, would you believe she thinks she doesn’t do enough? I thought she was crazy when she told me she’s been trying to prove she is smart, strong and capable!

But maybe it’s not so crazy. Maybe, for most of us, what is underneath over-working and trying to be Super Woman IS our desire to be seen, loved and appreciated. Read the rest of this entry »

Have you ever wanted something but felt like you couldn’t ask for it?

Or have you asked for it, but then suddenly felt a man away or get awkward?

Recently, I was having a conversation with a woman about a first date she’d just gone on. She’d been talking to her date on the phone, planning where they’d meet. He asked her if it would be okay to meet at his place. He didn’t want to make the hour-long drive to pick her up after a long day at work.

She felt angry when she heard this: “He doesn’t want to do something inconvenient, but he’s okay with asking me to do it!” She quickly squelched her anger and agreed to meet him at his place. She didn’t want to be pushy, and after all, isn’t that what she should do to make the date to go well? Read the rest of this entry »

This month in the Living In Love program we’ve been exploring How to Have Sex That Meets Your Deepest Heart’s Desires.

As I explored what makes sex delicious, enjoyable, and satisfying for me, I realized how much of it is up to me, not my lover. It can be both humbling and exciting to admit that it’s my hand on the dial. Exciting, because I can turn the dial up; humbling because its my responsibility to make sex great, and if it isn’t, I know where to look.

There is what I say and do–or don’t say and don’t do–in the bedroom that can make sex either great or terrible. This is when I get to voice my boundaries, listen to my desires, and dance between giving and receiving. We talked about how to communicate during sex in our teleseminar last week. (If you missed it but would like to listen, just sign up for the Living In Love program for $1 and get instant access to all our past tele-seminars).

However, fantastic sex starts way before the bedroom. Read the rest of this entry »